Captivating Chemo

Until today, I found that others having chemo at the same time I do did not discuss their cancers during treatment sessions. Today was very different. There were five of us (treatment room holds six) and we were all women. Suddenly, we were all involved in a cancer discussion.

The five of us all had different cancers---lung, liver, pancreatic, breast (spread to lungs) and duodenal. Most of the conversation was about our reactions to chemo. Side effects varied greatly from individual to individual.

We all agreed that we were survivors or we wouldn't have been having the discussion.

Handshake or Fist Bump

I don't deliberately keep a blind over my eyes regarding changes in my world but I must confess that many changes slip by me easily. For example, I have recently become aware of fist bumps as a replacement for handshakes.

I regard this as highly symbolic of the times in which we live. In this age of discord and discontent, a clenched fist encounter replaces the handshake. After all, a handshake pulls you closer to another person, kind of like a mini-hug with the hands. As far as I can tell, today's society regards that at a weakness and the fist bump as a stronger, more aggressive reaction when dealing with another person.

I don't buy it.

Common Courtesy vs Individual Rights

Here's another one of those topics that keep me awake at night---common courtesy. I define common courtesy simply as a behavior that shows respect to another person. You know, like holding a door open for someone, saying please and thank you, not interrupting when they are speaking, listening to another point of view---ah, there's the rub.

There's not much listening to another view point these days. It's not a disease carried only by our leaders but right down the line to the demonstrators who wave signs and demonize elected officials as their right to free speech. I will fight for any one's right to free speech but ask that they use common courtesy to express it.

Would the Founders have been able to write the Constitution in the volatile climate of America today? I'm guessing that (back then) many individuals expressed their beliefs and opinions that were the opposite of what others were thinking. Without common courtesy, would the Founders have been able to compromise and come up with the amazing documents we call the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?

I am turned off by the negativism and discord preached today. When did we, the civilians who proclaim the Constitution and Bill of Rights as the guidelines for ourselves and our government, lose our civility and common sense? And more important, why?

Time Passes

I just checked my blog and was shocked to realize so much time had passed since my last post. I've been very busy:

• watching for spring
• getting started on chemo
• watching for spring
• counting robins
• arranging for lawn care
• watching for spring

Who Decides?

Did you ever wonder who makes the big decisions regarding things that go on to become common wisdom accepted by all? For example, gold. Who decided that gold was the most precious commodity on earth? Why did gold win over, say, soy beans?

Gold's reputation has been consistent over time, societies and geography. What makes it so special? Is it the color? Surely sunflowers are as striking. Is it the space? An ounce of gold is more compact than an ounce of feathers.

And how did gold become so popular? Did its reputation spread by word of mouth or some other method? Did Mr Neanderthal stub his toe on a gold nugget, pick it up, and show it to the rest of the clan? Everybody oohed and ahhed and fell in love with gold. Is that how it started?

These things keep me awake at night.

Realities of Rare Cancers

By now I thought I would be involved in chemo and radiation. And I should be. However, the reality is that a treatment protocol for duodenal cancer does not exist because of the rarity of this form of cancer. So I'm waiting for an appointment and assessment at a much larger cancer center. They are supposed to design a treatment program that will be given to the regional cancer center so I can be treated locally.

Imagine my shock when I kept my first appointment at the cancer center only to be told "We don't know what to do with you because your form of cancer is so rare." One source I found on the internet said that fewer than 7000 cases of duodenal cancer were reported in 2007. I can't imagine that anyone is doing research on a cancer affecting so few patients. My best hope will be to become a participant in a clinical trial.

In the meantime, I sit here waiting. Anyone know any bald jokes?

You Want Me to Walk a WHAT In These Shoes?

Here's Shasta, our ambitious cat.

Chimps and More Bad Press

Reuters has a story today about a Russian chimp with an interesting life. First, the chimp was thrown out of circus for his aggressive behavior. From there, he was sent to a zoo where he picked up some more bad habits. He learned to draw with markers, drink and smoke. Now he has been transferred again for rehab treatment to overcome his cigarette and beer habits. I don't know what they've planned to do about his drawings.

A Blonde Joke

My sister, who was a blonde until recent years, has had to bear her share of blonde jokes. In self-defence, she tries to find the best blonde jokes before anyone else can locate them. Here's one she shared when I was in the hospital.

A company decided to conduct a password audit. They discovered that a blonde receptionist had an unusually long one. It was MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy. So someone went to her and asked her why she had such a long password.

She indignantly replied, "Well, you were the ones who told me I had to have a password that was eight characters long!"

Good News, Bad News

Now that I'm getting stronger, I am recalling some of the more interesting incidents that occurred when I was in the hospital.

The night before my surgery, my room suddenly was filled with six doctors. Five of them were the surgical team to discuss the operation and what to expect following it. Then they left and the remaining doctor, the hospitalist, who coordinated all my treatment, pulled up a chair by my bed.

My first thought was "Oh, oh! This doesn't look good." It wasn't. He told me that he had to inform me of my options and that my decisions should take into account that the end result would most likely remain the same. I remember asking how long and how he danced around the question while I pressed for an honest answer.

Then I had what I call my Rodney Dangerfield moment. I kept thinking "Today I had good news and bad news. The good news is I won't get dementia. The bad news is I won't live long enough." I think you would call that sick humor.

In looking back, I wonder if the hospitalist had another motive; one that would make me mad enough to say "Oh, yeah? I'll prove you wrong, Mister!" Because that is the attitude I've had since his visit that night. Thanks, Dr. Kovachev.

Correction: Duodenal Cancer

While I was writing about my cancer, I made a big error in the name of the type. It is duodenal cancer.

Duodural Cancer

Even though I admit to being a learning junkie, there are occasions when I learn more about a subject than I wanted to know. Duodural cancer is one of those subjects. I can tell you more about it than you'll want to know and I've learned all this because I have duodural cancer.

Duodural cancer is located in the duodenum, just below the stomach in the upper intestines. It is in a very difficult place to operate on because there are so many blood vessels there. I was a lucky one. The surgeon was able to remove the cancer. I still have chemo/radiation ahead when I am stronger.

Happy New Year

This has been the strangest New Year I have ever spent. How I writing this now demonstrates how strange. I'm propped up in a hospital bed using a computer signed out from the hospital library but, believe it or not, this is the most normal thing I've done for several days.

I've had some physical problems lately that led to a couple of visits to ER. The second visit, on Wednesday, December whatever, led to more tests and the discovery of a blockage in the upper intestines. When my surgeon got out of surgery, he reviewed the info and decided that he was not qualified to treat me and transferred me to Rochester General in Rochester, NY. More tests and a scope. The surgeon doing the scope located the tumor and did biopsies. Now I'm waiting for a more specialized surgeon. With the holiday weekend, who knows when that will be.

In a couple of days, I will have my own netbook here but who know whether I'll be in any shape to use it.

The way I see it, this will be my third surgery in five months and the third one is a charm.

Story Behind the Mantle

I was just checking my blog and looking at the picture of the mantle in my cookie recipe post. I did it a couple of years ago: it was the last thing I built and was a great solution to an angled wall near the front door.

Over the years I have built many pieces and all of them were designed to solve a space problem. Finding a solution was a gratifying part of my woodworking---almost as much fun as building and watching plain pieces of wood transformed into objects of beauty and function.

World's Favorite Christmas Cookie Recipe

It's time once again to publish my favorite Christmas cookie recipe. A friend sent this recipe to me years ago and I guarantee it will become a favorite. You don't even have to bake. Just reading it will warm the cockles of your heart.

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup of Water

1 Cup Flour

1 tsp Baking Sod

1 Cup of Sugar

1 tsp Salt

1 Cup of Brown Sugar

1 tsp Lemon Juice

4 Large Eggs

1 Cup of Nuts

2 Cups of Dried Fruit

1 Bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila

*Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one cup and DRINK.

*Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again

*At this point, it's best to make sure the Cuervo(Tequila) is still OK, try another cup...just in case

*Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit off the floor...

*Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

*Sample the Cuervo again to check for tonsistinsee.

*Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or flour o! r something. Who giveshz a sheet..

*Check the Jose Cuervo. Now, shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts for pitz. What? You know what I meant....

*Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar. Greash the oven.

*Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

*Don't foget to beat off the turner

*Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Health Care Reform Need Brought Home

I recently had some major eye surgery for epiretinal membrane, otherwise known as macular pucker. Granted, it is a tough surgery because the area in question in inside the eye, on the backside. If you think of the eye as a basketball, imagine going through the front of the basketball to a little area on the inside of the back wall. I'm not questioning the complexity of the surgery but the hospital bill arrived today and I am questioning some of the costs.

The total hospital bill (not including the surgeon) was over $11,550 (for ambulatory surgery). Included in this bill is the cost for two Tylenols---$13.00, and a "head cover drape"---$72.40. Oh, and let's not forget the "skin scribe marking pen" used to put an X over the eye to be operated on for a price of $3.50. I could go on with comments for each item but that won't alter the costs or make me feel better.

Do I think we need health care reform? I'll let the the $13.00 Tylenol speak for me.

Another Species, Another Continent

Regular reader(s) of this blog know of my theory that an animal revolution is taking place. I have used news stories as the basis for my hypothesis. I have cited articles about cows (see posts on 5/7/09, 6/20/09, and 8/29/09), pigs (posted 6/29/09), groundhogs (posted 7/25/09), and chimps (see post of 7/7/09). Now today's news adds a new species, marsupials, on a new continent, Australia.

The Associated Press reports that a kangaroo tried to drown a dog and when the dog's master tried to rescue him, the kangaroo turned on the man and caused enough injury to put the man in the hospital.

The revolt widens.

Once Again, Ogden Nash

The image above is a watercolor done by Tom McNeely and the subject is Ogden Nash and one of his witty rhymes, The Fly.

Nash and his whimsical offerings are a frequent topic of mine. I use his poems to escape old age, diabetes, and such.

When asked where he lived, his answer was "I could have loved New York, had I not loved Balti-more."

So here's Nash's thoughts that may help anyone out there who is traveling abroad or staying home:

Goody for Our Side and Your Side Too

Foreigners are people somewhere else,

Natives are people at home;

If the place you’re at

Is your habitat,

You’re a foreigner, say in Rome.

But the scales of Justice balance true,

And tit leads into tat,

So the man who’s at home

When he stays in Rome

Is abroad when he’s where you’re at.

When we leave the limits of the land in which

Our birth certificates sat us,

It does not mean

Just a change of scene,

But also a change of status.

The Frenchman with his fetching beard,

The Scot with his kilt and sporran,

One moment he

May a native be,

And the next may find him foreign.

There’s many a difference quickly found

Between the different races,

But the only essential

Differential

Is living different places.

Yet such is the pride of prideful man,

From Austrians to Australians,

That wherever he is,

He regards as his,

And the natives there, as aliens.

Oh, I’ll be friends if you’ll be friends,

The foreigner tells the native,

And we’ll work together for our common ends

Like a preposition and a dative.

If our common ends seem mostly mine,

Why not, you ignorant foreigner?

And the native replies

Contrariwise;

And hence, my dears, the coroner.

So mind your manners when a native, please,

And doubly when you visit

And between us all

A rapport may fall

Ecstatically exquisite.

One simple thought, if you have it pat,

Will eliminate the coroner:

You may be a native in your habitat,

But to foreigners you’re just a foreigner.

The Eyes Have It

I've been a diabetic for over twenty years now. Diabetes is a very destructive force. It chops away at the body very quietly and covertly. It has left its destruction in my body, mainly in heart disease and chronic renal failure. But oddly enough, those were not the aftermaths that I dreaded the most. I have always had a huge fear of two things: loss of limb and loss of eyesight.

It looked like I was worrying unnecessarily until about a month ago. I had my yearly eye exam in May and everything was fine. But a few weeks ago, I noticed that the vision in my right eye was rapidly deteriorating. I called my local eye doctor who referred me to a retina specialist after her examination.

Talk about improvements in technology. I was given a battery of tests and at the end, the specialist told me I had multiple problems in both eyes. His immediate concern was the macular pucker in the right eye. The pucker is caused by scar tissue on the macula and leads to impaired and distorted vision in some people. He recommended surgery and set it up for the following week.

Then the comedy of errors started. I had to go to my primary care physician who had to sign off on the surgery. She approved surgery with a local anesthesia. Unfortunately, the surgeon did my particular surgery with a general anesthesia and at my pre-ops at the hospital, I was informed that the surgery would have to be postponed until a cardiologist signed off on it. So I had to find a cardiologist who would see me on short notice. That took a couple of days and it was now the day before the original date of surgery. I called the surgeon's office to update them and was told I was going to have the surgery the next day (under a local anesthesia) as originally planned. This agreement was made by my primary care physician, the surgeon and the hospital. However, not one of the three entities thought to tell me. I found out by accident.

So, I had the surgery. As the surgeon was peeling off the scar tissue, I started bleeding and he had to stop. He doesn't know if he got enough of the tissue to improve my vision. It's now a waiting game. He replaced the vitreous with an air bubble to make the surgical field more visible. So now I am like a giant level with the bubble moving around as I do. The bubble is irritating but not as irritating as the lack of perspective, the inability to see details and the inability to see in reduced light.

I can tell you right now that I won't make a very good blind person. And if you want my vote on which of the nasties caused by diabetes is the worst, my answer is a very loud THE EYES HAVE IT.

Personal Thoughts About Alfred Fire

On Thursday, a major fire destroyed three businesses and the living quarters of some students. Alfred is a very small town but is home to two colleges, Alfred State College and Alfred University. The fire reminded my family of how significant Alfred is to us.

Alfred is "down the road" from us, seven or eight miles away. My brother lives in Alfred and is retired from the university after spending nearly all of his working career there. At the age of sixty, my mother decided she wanted to work in food service at the state college and she retired from there. One of my sisters graduated from ASC, a niece and nephew graduated from AU and a great niece graduated from the college as well.

In one of life's strange coincidences, my sister and brother-in-law were passing by the buildings that burned just as the sirens went off. They were on their way from Pennsylvania to Hornell to pick me up and transport me to a hospital for eye surgery. When they returned home later, they had to detour around Alfred because of the clean-up from the fire.

There has been an outpouring of concern for the students who lost all their belongings and the owners of the businesses that were destroyed or damaged. This is an area of generous and sharing people, so I know that concern will turn into concrete help.